Sunday, January 20, 2008

A Full House of Worship

My roommate and I had an interesting discussion the other day that I wanted to get someones opinion on. We have some very odd conversations. Anyway, we got into a debate about which Abrahamic faith was most like which of the three male leads on Full House. And, when I say debate, we actually discussed this for nearly an hour. My thoughts went along this line:

1. Danny Tanner is Islam - Fanatical about the rules. Wants total control of everything around him. Case in point, when poor Danny was dating the woman who was untidy, he couldn't take it. Or look at the time Stephanie and Michelle put a hole in Danny's bedroom wall while wrestling over a pole from the closet. Everyone knew of Danny's controlling streak, and they all took great pains to avoid offending him.

2. Uncle Joey is Judaism - Great sense of humor, self-depreciating, often overshadowed by the other two housemates. At one point felt he needed to leave the house because he was being overworked. He needed to make an Exodus, you might say. His catch phrase, "Cut it out, man!" sounds like it comes straight from a how-to guide on being a mohel.

3. Uncle Jesse is Christianity - He's hip, he's now, he's full of himself. He's also kind of the rebel, see any episode where he plays rock 'n' roll, see the Scott Baio Dr. Dare episode. His music career was given new life when he joined Hot Daddy and the Meat Puppets. It was, in fact, resurrected. Also, his catch phrase is "Have Mercy!"

So, those are my thoughts. Next week, is Michelle's "Don't have a cow" indicative of a conversion to Hinduism?

Also, which Christian heresy is Zach Morris? Arianism? Tritheism? Albigensian?


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